My second oldest son, who will turn 25 this week, studied Art in his freshman year. He soon changed his major, remarking that it wasn't only that he wasn't sure about the subject. More importantly, he didn't feel comfortable, didn't feel like he belonged, with other artists.

That statement helped clarify a conflict in my life. For years I was a teacher, a noble profession, but I didn't always feel comfortable with other teachers. Meetings delved into details that bored me and I wasn't stimulated by a discussion of the merits of the blackboard versus the white board.

Now I'm a writer, and that is where I belong. I can sit with other writers, talking about our craft, and never get tired. Others may soon get bored, but this is my professional home. We each have one. The trick is to discover it.

This may sound macabre, but there's no denying it. I am heading toward my own mortality. I have been, of course, since the day I was born.

It's more obvious now, though. My body is beginning to betray me. My face doesn't have the freshness of youth. My oldest son will turn 27 soon, edging ever closer to 30. My youngest is starting high school next fall.

One hundred years ago, my maternal grandmother was only seven. My paternal grandfather was 13. Both are dead now, of course. Along with many other relatives. They each had their time, their youth, their lives. Eventually they made way for younger generations. One day, probably sometime within the next 40 years, I will do the same.

Twenty years ago, we moved to a community. The early years were good. But some people came in and started creating dissension, spreading rumors about many, including members of our family, and seeking power. We held on for years afterward, hoping things would improve, but they never did.

Five years ago, we finally left that community. We do still keep some contacts because we knew the people there for so long, and my kids grew up there--the three youngest were born there. But I've discovered that my discomfort is still very strong. Recently I was being pushed to join a 20-year community celebration, and I found I simply couldn't do it. In fact, the stress was so great that it made me sick.

I would like to get over this and move on completely. I probably need counseling. My husband tells me to forgive, but it's not that easy.

With my family.

These days I'm mostly just playing around on the internet. When it rains, as it has the last two days, and the temperature drops into the 50s (in Kentucky in June!), I can't do much more. My knee hurts and I'm cold and I hardly leave the couch.

But I am hopeful for the summer, if it finally arrives. Recently I finished writing a major novel, and in some ways I would like to start another, but I've decided to wait until school starts. My summer is free for my kids. I just hope my knee (and the weather) cooperate!

Do you want the long version, or should I condense it a little?

When I was young I wanted to live a meaningful life, and I think I'm doing that. From my education to the man I married to the six boys we've raised (still raising two of them) together. In some ways, I've followed the traditional route, but with my own twist. I earned my Ph.D. with two small children at home, married a man from halfway around the world, and raised my boys to think and question.

I've become an author, which was a lifelong dream. I've lived in a third-world country as a native. I've found peace in my life, which is often too rare.

There's still more life in me, I think, and I want to see what else I can accomplish. Two of my goals are to get to know my granddaughters, becoming their close friend, and writing a best-selling novel. Let's see what I can still accomplish.

In my life? I haven't yet welcomed a grandson or won a major prize for one of my novels. I haven't yet traveled to Europe. In all of my 52 years I have not teepeed a house or made a prank phone call, and those are unlikely to happen. So far I haven't been arrested or even received a traffic ticket (unless a parking ticket counts) and I've never been stopped for speeding. I haven't met the president or lived on an island. But life is full of possibilities, so I can't say for certain that what hasn't happened never will.

Muslims believe that the three most special mosques are in Mecca, Medina, and Jerusalem. However, we also believe that God has made the entire earth a place for prayer. So there is no spot that is not special.

I haven't had any new ideas lately, beyond the mundane, and I find that quite discouraging. Every day I consider writing something, but my mind is blank. I'm in a survival mode at the moment, and I miss my creativity.

I would like to give energy and enthusiasm to each of my days so I can live each day fully, helping others and making the most of life. Unfortunately, that hasn't been possible recently. I hope I reach the point where I can do that once again.

I would like to promise my kids that we'll have a fun, action-packed summer together, but I can't really say it will happen. We do have a great out-of-town planned next month, and I hope it will live up to expectations, but that's about it. My health has been acting weird lately and, even though my husband is supposed to get a good amount of vacation time in the summer, he often spends part of his vacation getting the school ready for next year (which starts, for the teachers, in the beginning of August!). Also, my 16-year old really, really, really wants his driver's license in August, but right now our 19-year old is doing most of the driving because, for various reasons, he never did get his license and now he wants it. I'm not sure the 16-year old will be ready in August.

Keeping promises to your kids is essential, but it sure ain't easy.

I would like to better understand how the human body works and how natural substances, easily found in our environment, can be used to heal. It would be great to know more about the mind-body connection. And I would very much like to be clear about all of my health options at this point.

For me, faith and family give meaning to my life. I would tell someone else to seek out others and try not to be too alone. Also, I would advise them to seek a higher purpose. That can take many forms, and isn't restricted to organized religion. We need to go outside of ourselves to find the meaning.

With my sons, I share what I've learned through communication and dialogue. Sometimes our conversations extend far and wide. With the world, I share what I've learned through my writing. I hope someone is listening.

I don't hold back. I never have and I never could because it would be inauthentic. Basically, it would be dishonest. If I have an ability, I push it with everything I can. I don't concentrate on every area of ability at all times. Sometimes some shine while others wait on the sidelines. But my parents always told me to do the best I could, and that what's I've always worked toward, in everything I've done.

None. I did that kind of "housecleaning" when I was in my 20s and searching for answers. Now I'm satisfied with what I've found and what I believe.

When I was a freshman or sophomore in college, my political science instructor addressed this question. He noted that true freedom isn't "freedom from," but "freedom to." I adopted this definition.

Freedom means that I can speak, write, worship, play, and work as I see fit, within the basic bonds of decency. (For instance, I wouldn't have the freedom to play in the nude in a city park--not that I ever would!--because that would violate the freedom of others.) Freedom cannot be taken away or eroded by legislation, though some have tried.

And, of course, as Oliver Wendell Holmes famously said, my freedom to swing my fists extends only as far as the other guy's nose!