What role has forgiveness played in your life?

I'm more like your husband; I'd forgive someone just because it wouldn't be worth it to me to carry around a grudge. I don't think that forgiving someone means you're condoning their actions, nor does it mean putting up with what they're doing. For me, it's more a letting go of any resentment or anger toward them personally, and for me, letting go of this means I'm generally better equipped to do something about whatever problems they might be contributing. :)

 Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourself. It is not something we do FOR someone else. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make our own life miserable.

Along the lines of what's already been said Jamilah, ask yourself this… who's holding on to the anger and resentment?

This is why we forgive and what we forgive… it has nothing to do with anyone else.

There is a big difference between forgiveness and accepance.  It is healthy to forgive, it is not always healthy to accept the behavior or allow it to continue to affect you.

Hi TadHead, acceptance is one of those 'thoughts' or 'ideas' that means different things to different people.  In my definition, 'to accept' something doesn't mean that you have to feel good about it or even like it.  In spiritual terms, I define acceptance as making peace with how I feel about a situation whether I like the way it feels or not. 

So, if I feel angry, hurt and betrayed by the actions of another, I don't think, “Hey that's okay.  It's okay that you betrayed me.” 

I think, “You know what, I feel really angry, hurt and betrayed and it's okay that I feel this way.  I'm not going to make anybody right or wrong for feeling the way that I do.” 

What happens when I make peace with how I feel about a situation it lowers my internal temperature, frees me from kneejerk reactions and empowers me to respond to the present situation thoughtfully.

Um, not being one to point out the obvious, but just the word “forgiveness” has a whole bunch of different definitions and connotations to everyone, just as the word “accept” does … well, okay, I will point out the obvious: words have different meanings and it is difficult to get those meanings across in these short bits of contexts. I have been blowing up and shooting hissy fits all week long over people behaving in ways towards me that I don't like and I am not likely to forgive them for their behaviors, but I better get on board with accepting that is the way they behave and they are not going to change; I will not allow myself to get all caught up in their behavior and let it affect me the way it has been (i.e., expecting them to be grown-ups by my definition rather than by theirs); if I am reading Bloomer's definition of forgiveness, however, I make peace with accepting who they are as they are without judging them as good or bad and go my own way and not let who they are affect who I am, as Tadhead says. Now my head hurts again.

Exactly Barbara:)  so try this out… “Jeese oh Pete my head hurts right now and even though it feels rotten, I'm okay.  That's just the way it is in this moment and I'm not going to make anybody right or wrong, including myself, for feeling the way that I do.”